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The Bible -Abridged-

Please note that this fanfic has no intention of insulting Christianity or the Bible.  (This is based off Exodus)

Chapter 1: The Birth of MelonHead

Now a man of the tribe of SWT married a SWTite woman, and she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. When she saw that he was a fine child, she hid him for three months. But when she could hide him no longer, she got a iron basket for him and coated it with tar and pitch. Then she placed the child in it and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Mithril River. His sister stood at a distance to see what would happen to him.

Then Knight’s daughter went down to the Mithril River to bathe, and her attendants were walking along the riverbank. She saw the basket among the reeds and sent her female slave to get it. She opened it and saw the baby. He was crying, and she felt sorry for him. “This is one of the SWTite babies,” she said.

Then his sister asked Knight’s daughter, “Shall I go and get one of the SWTites women to nurse the baby for you?”

“Yes, go,” she answered. So the girl went and got the baby’s mother. Knight’s daughter said to her, “Take this baby and nurse him for me, and I will pay you.” So the woman took the baby and nursed him. When the child grew older, she took him to Knight’s daughter and he became her son. She named him MelonHead, saying, “He provides food with his head.”  

                                                                                                          Chapter 2: MelonHead Flees to the Wikia

One day, after MelonHead had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an AC-Vite beating a SWTite, one of his own people. Looking this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the AC-Vite with a Trinity and hid him in the ground. The next day he went out and saw two SWTites fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, “Why are you hitting your fellow SWTite?"

The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the AC-Vite?” Then MelonHead was afraid and thought, “What I did must have become known.”

When Knight heard of this, he tried to kill MelonHead, but MelonHead fled from Knight and went to live in Wikia, where he sat down by a well. 16 Now a priest of Wikia had seven daughters, and they came to draw water and fill the troughs to water their father’s Mithril Farm. Some aliens came along and drove them away, but MelonHead got up and came to their rescue and watered their Mithril Farm.

When the girls returned to Benjamin their father, he asked them, “Why have you returned so early today?”

They answered, “An SWTite rescued us from the aliens. He even drew water for us and watered the Mithril Farm.”

“And where is he?” Benjamin asked his daughters. “Why did you leave him? Invite him to have something to eat.”

MelonHead agreed to stay with the man, who gave his daughter Zoe to MelonHead in marriage. Zoe gave birth to a son, and MelonHead named him Ryan saying, “I have saved Mithril.”

During that long period, the king of AC-V died. The SWTites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to ROME. ROME heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Phoenix, with Andromedae and with Thunder. So ROME looked on the SWTites and was concerned about them.

Chapter 3: MelonHead and the Burning Bush

Now MelonHead was tending the Mithril Farm of Benjamin his father-in-law, the priest of Wikia, and he walked far side of the wilderness and came to Lair, the mountain of ROME. There the angel of the ROME appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. MelonHead saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So MelonHead thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”

When the ROME saw that he had gone over to look, ROME called to him from within the bush, “MelonHead! MelonHead!”

And MelonHead said, “Here I am.”

“Do not come any closer,” ROME said. “Take off your boots, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Then he said, “I am the ROME of your father, the ROME of Phoenix, the ROME of Andromedae and the ROME of Thunder.” At this, MelonHead hid his face, because he was afraid to look at ROME.

The ROME said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in AC-V. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.  So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the AC-Vites and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with Mithril and Gold—the home of the 901st SSites, TTTites, TDSites, LFSites, RAASites and S.T.A.R.Sites. And now the cry of the SWTites has reached me, and I have seen the way the AC-Vites are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Knight to bring my people the SWTites out of AC-V.”

But MelonHead said to ROME, “Who am I that I should go to Knight and bring the SWTites out of AC-V?”

And ROME said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of AC-V, you will worship ROME on this mountain.”

MelonHead said to ROME, “Suppose I go to the SWTites and say to them, ‘The ROME of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

ROME said to MelonHead, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the SWTites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

ROME also said to MelonHead, “Say to the SWTites, ‘The ROME, the ROME of your fathers—the ROME of Phoenix, the ROME of Andromedae and the ROME of Thunder—has sent me to you.’

“This is my name forever, the name you shall call me from generation to generation.

“Go, assemble the elders of SWT and say to them, ‘The ROME, the ROME of your fathers—the ROME of Phoenix, Andromedae, and Thunder—appeared to me and said: I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in AC-V. And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in AC-V into the land of the 901st SSites, TTTites, TDSites, LFSites, RAASites and S.T.A.R.Sites—a land flowing with Mithril and Gold.’

“The elders of SWT will listen to you. Then you and the elders are to go to the king of AC-V and say to him, ‘The ROME, the ROME of the SWTites, has met with us. Let us take a three-day journey into the wilderness to offer sacrifices to the ROME our ROME.’ But I know that the king of Knight will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. So I will stretch out my hand and strike the AC-Vites with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go.“

“And I will make the AC-Vites favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed. Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the AC-Vites.”   

                                                                                                          Signs for MelonHead   

MelonHead answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The ROME did not appear to you’?”

Then the ROME said to him, “What is that in your hand?”

“A Windblade,” he replied.

The ROME said, “Throw it on the ground.”

MelonHead threw it on the ground and it became a Serpent, and he drew a MZ and tried to kill it. Then the ROME said to him, “Do not kill it. Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So MelonHead reached out and took hold of the Serpent and it turned back into a Windblade in his hand. “This,” said the ROME, “is so that they may believe that the ROME, the ROME of their fathers—the ROME of Phoenix, the ROME of Andromedae and the ROME of Thunder—has appeared to you.”

Then the ROME said, “Put your hand inside your armor.” So MelonHead put his hand into his armor, and when he took it out, the skin was blue—it had become as blue as the sky.

“Now put it back into your armor,” he said. So MelonHead put his hand back into his armor, and when he took it out, it was restored, like the rest of his flesh.

Then the ROME said, “If they do not believe you or pay attention to the first sign, they may believe the second. But if they do not believe these two signs or listen to you, take some Mithril from the Mithril River and place it on the dry ground. The Mithril you take from the Mithril River will become rocks on the ground.”

MelonHead said to the ROME, “Pardon your servant, ROME. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

The ROME said to him, “Who gave Prototype 02 beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the ROME? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

But MelonHead said, “Pardon your servant, ROME. Please send someone else."

Then the ROME’s anger burned against MelonHead and he said, “What about your brother, BananaHead the SWTite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were ROME to him. But take this Windblade in your hand so you can perform the signs with it.”